Sometimes when you're travelling on the road to weight loss, life gets in the way and overwhelms the crap out of you. You get sucked into the emotions of anxiety, anger, sadness - and healthy eating becomes secondary. You feel soothed by the sweetness of chocolate. Or deeply satisfied by the saltiness of french fries. One day passes like this. And then another. Soon, you're sucked in. It's easy to feel helpless, like the ship that keeps sinking slowly. And in a weird way, it's a relief to be drowning without having to actually TRY anymore.
I've been feeling like this for a couple of weeks now, and it's amazing how things changed for the worse. There's a bunch of stuff going down in my life that's causing me some anxiety, and I started shovelling crap down my mouth again. That caused me to feel even more lethargic, and led to more crappy eating. I didn't feel like exercising, because like, what was the point? And so the vicious cycle continued.
Yesterday, I managed to meander my lazy butt to the gym for 1/2 hour only. After 15 minutes, I could feel my lungs burning. The sweat beads were forming on my forehead....and all of a sudden, it hit me. I felt like I was finally back in control again.
I came to work this morning and had to deal with something TRULY crappy. It really upset me. Instead of stewing over it all day, I went to the gym at lunch. I still feel upset - but at least I'm back in control of my life.
I'm on this road to weight loss because I want to be fit and healthy. Life will change, and things will happen - but the one thing that I've got to keep under control is my health. I used to think that the crappy things in life affected my ability to eat well and exercise. Now, I'm realizing that being in control of my health will help me dal with the crappy things in life.
Sorry for the sermon here, but it's so true. If I don't have my health, I don't have anything.