Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Today, I felt like eating with a vengeance. I probably did eat with a vengeance, if I think about it. Ever have that massive HUNGER inside you, that only a plate of nacho chips or french fries will satisfy? No amount of carrot sticks and hummus, or working out at the gym will take that away? God, it's so hard.

It started when I came home early this afternoon from work. I was hungry. Always a bad idea - being home alone in the afternoon with nothing but the big ol' TV and a cupboard full of food. I decided to go to the gym for 40 minutes, thinking that would curb the itch. No such luck.

I caved in a bit. I made myself a small plate of nacho chips - organic, lightly salted tortillas with low-fat cheese. In order to counteract the guilt factor, I had a red apple with it. But that was enough to further taunt the raging hunger beast inside me. Some chocolate ensued. A sugar-free ice-cream sandwich. And then, I picked up the phone and called the hub-meister. I confessed my sins....and the second I told him, the rage was gone. I just felt ashamed.

What's the name of that game again? Oh yeah - two steps forward, three steps back. That's it. How quickly I forget.

At this rate, I'm imagining myself hitting my goal weight at the age of 85 years old. That'll be me - the crazy old lady standing on some state-of-the-art digital/body-fat measuring/technological scale, waving my walking stick in the air with glee. Oh, man.

5 comments:

totegirl said...

Umm...yeah. Been there recently, as a matter o' fact. I've recently become "pleasure delayer." I keep promising myself that I'll eat that thing after I do such-and-such task, etc. This is a fairly new endeavor, so I don't know how it will work. It will probably backfire, and I'll end up eating everything but the dog food!

Well, it's over now. Time to move on, because you are KICKING ASS!

Louisa said...

LOL .. you're stopping at the dog food totegirl? There have been days when even that started to look good to me!

I hear ya Sonya - I'm just coming out of a "I must eat everything in sight NOW" stage too but I put it down to PMS. You never know, we may be waving our walking sticks together at this rate ...

Cowgirl Warrior said...

I think you described my night, it's an ugly monster that rears it's head on occasion. The good thing is that it doesn't happen all the time. Like totegirl said it's done and it's a new day.

t. said...

Don't drag yourself done like that! You are still doing great, even if one day got out of control! Just find in it the motivation to stick to your diet the days after! I do have the same problem, like weightloss warrior, especially at night. It gets out of control sometimes...
But you will get to goal way before hitting 85! :)

Jennifer said...

I know the beast inside all too well. It is the worst feeling - there is nothing you can do to talk yourself out of eating. I sometimes feel like my body cuts itself off from the reasonable part of my mind and just goes about the business of feeding itself whatever it fancies while the cut off mind part protests in vain. I hope someone discovers a cure for this - maybe something in an inhaler.