Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Well, I'm just going to come right out and admit it. I won't wait until the end of my post. I won't even bury it in the middle. I'm up to 212.5.

There - I've said it.

Isn't it funny that as quickly as I was down a pound, I'm now back up two? Again, it's all about gaining and losing the same weight!!!

Do I deserve it? Probably. Okay, definitely.

Let me just say this: Once you find a "groove", in terms of healthy eating and exercise - do NOT fall out of habit! Not even for a few days. Because for some reason, it's very easy to fall back into old behaviours.

My body is addicted to sugar again. The more sugar I have, the more I need...and the vicious cycle continues. And the truth is, I'm scared to break the cycle because I know how hard it will be. Sugar withdrawal is NOT fun.

Exercise is still mediocre....I can't seem to find my drive.

But the good news (and there is good news about this!) is that I still WANT to lose weight. I haven't lost my desire. And that counts for something, right? I really haven't given up, and I don't want to throw in the towel.

Last week, I tried to jump right back into my strict exercise and eating regimen. Of course, I failed after like, five minutes. Now, I'm going to try a different approach. I'm going to EASE my way back into things. That means, I go back to the 80/20 rule. If I'm doing well 80% of the time, I can afford to slack off for 20%. Not perfect, but better than the 50/50 rule that's happening right now.

And, back to weighing myself every few days to keep in check. I have to stop giving the scale evil looks every morning when I see it staring at me, taunting me, and beckoning, "step on me....step on meeeeee". I think I'll just give in. Because honestly, reality checking is really important, and being in denial helps no one.

*****

In other news, work has calmed down a bit, and the stress is starting to decline to more normal levels. I'm a Type A sorta gal, so it's about as normal as it can get!

Went for a walk tonight - well, as far as I could. I'm very exhausted these days! Tomorrow, I'm going to try my hand at yoga. Some stretching and breathing should be good for this ol' belly of mine.

And I know I have to give up potatoes again. My darling potatoes. I broke up with you several months ago, and now we've been having one-night stands again. It's been good, but I'm afraid it can't last.

Another wrongful pleasure of mine needs to be kicked to the curb. Macaroni and Cheese. The creamy, soft kind with crispy baked cheese on top. The kind that actually makes you wonder whether you'd choose Mac & Cheese over your husband on certain days. Mmmmm. Our passionate affair is also about to end.

And on that note, I'm going to find my yoga pants for tomorrow's class! Wheeee - I love my stretchy yoga pants. I may have abused them by substituting them for pyjamas some days...but just because I used them as pyjamas once, does that mean I can't wear them in public again? No one has to know, except for you guys.;-)

7 comments:

Lindsey said...

I have sugar addictions too. I eat too much sugar and boom, I have no energy whatsoever and all I can think about eating is what got me into the mess in the first place. I feel your sugar withdrawl pain.

Good idea to ease back into your exercise/eating regimen. I know it totally sucks when I jump into my plans too hard because I will of course burn out and/or fail and then I'll blame myself all of it. Not good for the self-esteem.

KleoPatra said...

i'm so glad you visited my blog. THANK YOU!!!

if you want/can, check out the links i have to other veg blogs (on the left side of the front page), if you haven't already. you will be thrilled to see all the wonderful veg blogs out there...

you will also find support for your eating and exercising habits and changes you want to made with some very awesome women (and some cool dudes, too).

i am supporting you all the way with your plan to get back into a good place for your body and mind!!!

please keep up the good work!!

i would like to add you as a link on my blog, if it is all right with you...

*HUGS*
K

Anonymous said...

I agree completely with Lindsey: sugar/carbs are a key problem for me, that key I miss to unlock the thindom door. Fat is not a problem, salt so-so. Sugar is DREADFUL! Last night I started with just one bite of bread: it had to be the whole loaf and before I knew it I was eating the entire package of morning crackers. And then it was bread again. And overcoming completely my previous record, I ended up even rummaging in the freezer to find stuff to defrost and stuff in my mouth.
We have to do something about it girl: together we can do it. but how to start??

Oh, and by the way, unsurprisignly, I am up aagain.

Zhaan said...

Thanks for stopping by with your positive comments :)

You are right about never giving up even when you fall off the wagon a bit. It's that "never quit" attitude that will carry you on down.

Just don't weigh too much. Once a week I think is best for most people. If you weigh daily the fluctuations will drive you nuts.

KleoPatra said...

I love your potatoes breakup note, by the way. Made me smile!!!

KleoPatra said...

Hope to hear about your ventures soon!

Anonymous said...

I found your blog via Tyler's (The 400 Pound Mile).

This is my first visit, and I was just taking a cursory glance around. I'm also in need of getting-myself-in-shape.

I originally wasn't going to comment - until i read this entry.

Mac 'n Cheese is one of my specialties - and I *love* french fries.

I feel ya. =)