Friday, July 14, 2006

Pre-weekend

Firstly, the Indian buffet was pretty crappy. The variety stank, and the food wasn't really spicy. So, I didn't overdo it that much. Except maybe an extra piece or two of naan bread, but that's totally forgivable!:-)

I've been stressed for the last couple of days. I know, I know - it's not good for me - especially now! I don't stress often - but when I do...boy is it bad. I've been really panicky about switching hospitals for my delivery, which means changing doctors.

The reason is, a colleague of mine delivered at the same hospital. She had a c-section...and during the procedure, an intern administered too much anaesthetic...there was a complication, and the baby died. It was very tragic. However, the hospital would not accept responsibility in the end.

Of course, this type of thing happens VERY rarely, and at any hospital. But it's been weighing on my mind all this time...and I've decided that for my own peace of mind, I should just switch.

If only it were that easy. There's a serious shortage of doctors in my city. It's next to impossible to find anyone. And now that I've made my mind up to do this, I just want it done! Hence, the stress. Lots of phone calls, begging, administrative nightmares about my file, etc. And still at square one.

Stress leads to unhealthy eating for me. For some reason, food often pacifies me when I'm totally rattled. It feels like a cool cloth on my forehead when I have a bad headache. Or a warm pair of mittens on a cold winter's day.

It got so bad yesterday afternoon, I called the hubby on his way from work, and said, "I just need you to come home and SOOTHE me". Soothing is what I needed. I think he thinks that I'm crazy and hormonal right now, but he didn't laugh at me. He did come as soon as he could, and tried to calm me down. He's really the only person that can do that.

Day two of the doctor's search today has proven to be even more stressful. I'm trying hard to take deep breaths...but my body just wants comforting food. I'm fighting hard. I did want something sweet (was thinking about some chocolate) - but I bought a low-fat frozen yogurt instead. It satisfied me.

I feel horrible, because I'm trying to be "perfect" as a mom-to-be. But it's really hard to just change my ways as quick as a snap of the finger. I don't want my stress to harm the baby, nor do I want the eating to impact the baby either. But it's easier said than done...and I'm learning. I hope I don't sound like an awful person!

Well, it's a slow afternoon at work. I'm going to plan out the weekend, and will include some relaxation time. Some "me" time! And maybe I can convince the hubby to give me a neck massage with my favourite Aveda peppermint lotion. What are husbands for, right?;-)

7 comments:

jodi said...

i'm not a parent, nor have i ever been pregnant but i would just try and tackle one thing at a time... trying to do too much at one time will cause stress for sure, so maybe start by making a list of the things you need to do and gradually cross things off... your hubby sounds pretty great so maybe you can divide the duties? that's what i would do anyway... and don't stress too much about food either - eat what you crave but just keep it in moderation... this should be a happy time, right? :o)

iportion said...

Hope that you find a great doctor.

Living to Feel Good said...

Even though it's stressing you, I do think it's a good idea that you are taking care of this now. If you feel uncomfortable because of your friends situation, then you defintely need to make that move and get a different doctor. Don't stress..everything always works out.

Sounds like you have a good hubby! Enjoy that massage!

The Venus said...

Sounds like you have a great man! Just relax about it. I find when I let things go (for me that is surrendering it to God and letting him take care of it) then they work out. If you pray, try praying and releasing the problem into God's light and let it go. Now that doesn't mean not doing what you need to on your end. Just do it knowing that it will work out.

Jen said...

It sounds like you have a darling of a husband. :)

I can understand you wanting to change doctors. I'd want to do the same. Good luck with the switch Sonya!

You definitely deserve some me time, especially now. Schedule yourself a professional pregnancy massage...ahhh, heaven.

KleoPatra said...

I am so sad to hear about that sweet baby that died. Oh that is so heartbreaking.

You do whatever you need for your own peace of mind!!

Love yer husband! You will have such a lovely family together!!!

Cowgirl Warrior said...

I hope you find a doctor, we have the same situation here in Calgary too.
You didn't monopolize my comment section. I really like hearing from you.