Firstly, the Indian buffet was pretty crappy. The variety stank, and the food wasn't really spicy. So, I didn't overdo it that much. Except maybe an extra piece or two of naan bread, but that's totally forgivable!:-)
I've been stressed for the last couple of days. I know, I know - it's not good for me - especially now! I don't stress often - but when I do...boy is it bad. I've been really panicky about switching hospitals for my delivery, which means changing doctors.
The reason is, a colleague of mine delivered at the same hospital. She had a c-section...and during the procedure, an intern administered too much anaesthetic...there was a complication, and the baby died. It was very tragic. However, the hospital would not accept responsibility in the end.
Of course, this type of thing happens VERY rarely, and at any hospital. But it's been weighing on my mind all this time...and I've decided that for my own peace of mind, I should just switch.
If only it were that easy. There's a serious shortage of doctors in my city. It's next to impossible to find anyone. And now that I've made my mind up to do this, I just want it done! Hence, the stress. Lots of phone calls, begging, administrative nightmares about my file, etc. And still at square one.
Stress leads to unhealthy eating for me. For some reason, food often pacifies me when I'm totally rattled. It feels like a cool cloth on my forehead when I have a bad headache. Or a warm pair of mittens on a cold winter's day.
It got so bad yesterday afternoon, I called the hubby on his way from work, and said, "I just need you to come home and SOOTHE me". Soothing is what I needed. I think he thinks that I'm crazy and hormonal right now, but he didn't laugh at me. He did come as soon as he could, and tried to calm me down. He's really the only person that can do that.
Day two of the doctor's search today has proven to be even more stressful. I'm trying hard to take deep breaths...but my body just wants comforting food. I'm fighting hard. I did want something sweet (was thinking about some chocolate) - but I bought a low-fat frozen yogurt instead. It satisfied me.
I feel horrible, because I'm trying to be "perfect" as a mom-to-be. But it's really hard to just change my ways as quick as a snap of the finger. I don't want my stress to harm the baby, nor do I want the eating to impact the baby either. But it's easier said than done...and I'm learning. I hope I don't sound like an awful person!
Well, it's a slow afternoon at work. I'm going to plan out the weekend, and will include some relaxation time. Some "me" time! And maybe I can convince the hubby to give me a neck massage with my favourite Aveda peppermint lotion. What are husbands for, right?;-)