Well, last night hubby and I went shopping to pick up the "last" of the baby things. I geared up all day, made a list, and thought that it would take us a few hours. Well, we were in and out of the store in an hour. In fact, hubby kept asking me, "Is that ALL? Are you SURE?". And the weird thing is, yes - it was a short list. I guess I'd made it seem a lot bigger in my mind, and it just got muddled with my general state of overwhelm.
I had a nice warm bath, and went to sleep when we got home. Hubby stayed up late (I don't even want to know HOW late!) and finished the nursery. When I woke up this morning, it was pretty much done. I can't believe it. (Will post pictures).
I had my doctor's appointment this morning, and he said, "Well - it could be anytime now, couldn't it?". And for the first time, I didn't feel anxious or scared. I smiled confidently, and said, "Yes - anytime".
And it's hit me. I'm ready. Not mentally ready. Not even quite physically ready (but we're almost there). But in a weird way, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I'm ready to be a mommy to someone. And I'm ready to make mistakes and learn from them. I can't wait to have this little baby in my arms.
For the longest time, I felt like the baby's arrival was the "end" of something else. The end of the freedom that hubby and I have. The end of travelling the world. The end of youth. It just felt so "adult". And of course, it meant the beginning of something brand new, and wonderful! But at the same time, the last few months of my life has been about saying "goodbye" to certain things. And today, I realized what a huge mistake that was.
My life is about to change in the most amazing way. My eyes are about to open to something so precious and new. And I realized that all the things I was saying "goodbye" to, I'll be saying "hello" to again...only this time, with a new person in my arms. And it'll be an even better experience.
Okay, so this was a VERY cheesy blog entry. But you see, I can only use the "I'm pregnant and hormonal" excuse for about 2.5 weeks more now - so I plan on milking it!