Saturday, February 24, 2007

I did it!

I finished week one of C25K! I was supposed to go to the gym last night, but the baby was really fussy, I was really tired - and it just didn't happen.

However, after a very sleepless night (the baby woke up 3 times!), I decided that since I was already semi-awake and sleep-deprived, I might as well haul my ass to the gym. It was 6:30am, believe it or not. Wow, how life has changed. A few months ago, an earthquake would not have awoken me at 6:30am on a Saturday morning.

It feels great, starting my day this way. I've made it to the gym 3 times this week already, and I've got one more to go! Even though I didn't go yesterday, I feel less guilty because I've been trying so hard.

The funny thing is, if I don't see a loss on the scale on Monday, I won't be disappointed. How could I be? I'm moving in the right direction, and that's all that counts. As long as my heart is in it, I'm going to keep trudging ahead.

I hope that I can finish Week 2 with the same gusto!

Well, there is something troubling me - which is likely the reason that a fire has been lit underneath me. I can't fit into most of my pre-pregnancy clothes. Ugh. Painful to admit it, but it's true. I have 2 pairs of pants and a t-shirt (which is still a bit snug) - and that's all. My cardigan is maternity (hard to tell, though), and so are all my t-shirts. My workout clothes are maternity.

Do you know how mortifying it is, standing in my closet FULL of clothes with only 3 items that I can wear? To see all my other clothes everyday, like they are ghosts from my past?

A few days ago, my little one spit up all over my pants right before we were supposed to leave the house. I was freaking out. Not because of the gross display of curdled milk all over me, but because I didn't have anything else to wear.

Now, I don't feel too alone in this. I met with some other new moms earlier this week. One of them was taking her coat off, and I noticed that she was still wearing her maternity pants. And she had her baby a couple of weeks after me. It made me feel a lot less pathetic, that's for sure. And yes, I know that it took me 9 months to put this weight on, and it'll take me awhile to get it off. But the weight that I have left on me right now ain't baby weight! Because that weight is now being carried in my arms everyday.

I'm still about 20lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight, so those clothes aren't going to fit me anytime soon. But I'm NOT caving in and buying bigger one's right now. It's not a punishment, but rotating my VERY tiny wardrobe right now will be a constant reminder that I need to keep working hard. It's going to feel WONDERFUL to wear those clothes again!


Chris H said...

Keep up the work at the gym,watch your diet and your clothes WILL fit you again real soon! 20 pounds is not much mate! Don't do what I did and throw all your pre-pregnancy clothes out!

iportion said...

I remember when 3x maternity became too small for me when I was pregnant. I topped off at 250 and 234.8 after I gave birth. The maternity store didn’t carry anything beyond large it was like they were saying overweight women didn’t or shouldn’t get pregnant. A friend picked clothes for me at this large outlet and I paid for what fit and she returned the rest.
Skirt I got when I went under 200 that was odd and stretchy and didn’t get too big till I was ten or 20 pounds off of goal.

Belladora said...

Wow, I'm glad to hear you are working out! Great stuff!!!

jodi said...

even though i've never been pregnant, my weight has fluctuated over the years as well as my closet... i have always enjoyed shopping for clothes but refuse to spend a lot when i know they will only fit for a while... so i shop at consignment/thrift stores and have found some really nice clothes, for a fraction of the price as retail stores... this might be an option for you too - just an idea... :o)

Sonya said...

Chris - thanks - you're right, 20lbs is totally achievable.

Iportion - thanks for sharing - the maternity industry for plus-sizes stinks. I was lucky, because I managed to fit into XL while I was pg.

Bella - thanks for the encouragement!

Jodi - consignment stores - great idea! I might be slightly unrealistic, in thinking that I can survive on 2 pairs of pants until my next size.;-)