Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Wired

It's almost 1am, and I am blogging. I should be sleeping, since I get so little of it! But I'm wired for some reason. I'm excited, and hopeful. Don't you love that feeling?

Firstly, thanks for all of your support and agreement on the whole personal trainer bust-up. I wasn't sure if I was over-reacting or not, but I'm positive I made the right decision. The quick history is, I used to be a part of a gym near my work (pre-pregnancy). I engaged this guy as my trainer, at the gym. I stopped the sessions when I got pregnant. I recently called him again, and engaged him privately - he came to my home, and we used the gym in my condo. I think the lack of professionalism thing had to do with there being no recourse at the gym. Nonetheless, it's ovah! Onwards, as they say.

So, why am I wired? I think I hit rock bottom a few days ago. And you know what they say about direction after that happens! I'm finally feeling really motivated and confident. I'm making plans to do things like go swimming! Light jogging! Walks in the park! I just feel hopeful.

I'm having visions of myself going back to work at the end of this year, in excellent shape. I truly want this for myself again, after letting myself go.

I'm not a martyr, so I'll admit that being a new mom is incredibly overwhelming. It's joyous and wonderful. But it's also a huge responsibility and sacrifice. And the hormones are running rampant through my body. So, I will have tough days - but that's okay. Up until now, I haven't felt like it's been alright to have hard days....but now, I'm going to forgive myself for them.

You know how we all have new beginnings, where we have resolve to start afresh? January 1st. Our birthdays. Mondays. Well, what better new beginning is there than my daughter's new life? I never quite thought about it like that until now.

Now that's a good reason to feel so wired and happy, that I'm nonsensically blogging at 1am. On that note, good night!

6 comments:

noelle said...

You sound so positive tonight! You're so right...this is the perfect time to have a new beginning. And it's OK to have hard days. The beautiful thing is that we will have a hard time forgiving ourselves, but our little ones are ready to love us anew all over again.

Now go to sleep!!!

CaRoLyN said...

I'm so happy to hear that you are so optimistic and hopeful!!! I know you can do it, you know you can do it! Everyone knows you can do it, you just need to put your mind to it. think of how great you will feel after each one of those activities! Jogging, swimming!
Sometimes you just need to hit rock bottom before you can find your way to the top.

Good luck girlie, you can do it!

jeannie* said...

Youre absolutely right! Its ok to have rough days -- especially as a new mom! So just take them in stride, and be sure to accept and own the days that you ARE on track and be proud of them!

I'm so glad youre pumped and ready to start a new. You can absolutely do it! And I cant wait to watch you succeed!

iportion said...

I am glad you sound so positive.
I feel like not doing anything today and over eating

Veg*Triathlete said...

I love your energy, Sonya! And springtime is just so perfect for all you're talking about doing :-) I see a good stretch of active healthy living ahead for you!

Salma Gundi said...

What a lovely way to look at this stage of your life!

I hope your enthusiasm is still going strong today :)