Monday, June 25, 2007

Hanging out in the closet...

The closet. Does it even qualify as a room in my apartment? If so, I've been avoiding it like the plague for several months now.
It's been getting more and more unruly, and I've been in complete denial about its state. There are clothes in every size hanging about my closet. There are big clothes, from when I was at my "starting" weight. And then, I lost about 25lbs, and bought some new clothes. And then, I got pregnant, and bought some maternity clothes. And now, I don't fit into anything, and have been recycling 2 pairs of jeans, my yoga pants, and some t-shirts.
I realize that having all of those clothes from my past hanging about were causing some anxiety. Seeing pregnancy clothes everyday wasn't helping me. My "old" clothes that are still too small make me sad. And my big clothes also make me feel a bit blue. You know, they're a bit like old boyfriends - hanging about, and inducing memories that are both good and bad.:-)
When I walk into the closet in the morning, I zone out all of the clothes in every size, strewn across the shelves - and always go for the same 2-3 hangers. This weekend, I needed to wear something when we went out on Saturday night, and I couldn't find anything. Standing in my closet, brimming to the top with a sea of fabrics, and there was nothing that I could wear. Or wanted to wear. How ridiculous is that? I was near tears, until hubby came in and saved the day by finding an old top that I had forgotten about. How can a bunch of clothes reduce me to such a helpelss state?
So, I've decided that I'm going to indulge in a little bit of self-therapy. I'm going to purge that closet of everything that I'm not wearing and don't intend to wear ever again. I realize that I'll be left with clothes that are a bit too small for me right now. Well, I'm gonna have to live with it, and work towards fitting into them again. I am not going to shell out any more money on clothes that are for my post-preggo "transition" state. And believe you me, this is a transition state - I cannot stay this way for much longer.;-)
The weird thing is, I have an emotional attachment to some of my clothes. They bring back memories of experiences that I had while wearing them. Perhaps part of the reason that I've been so reluctant to engage in closet-purging has been because I haven't wanted to part with some of my clothes. But I think it's time.
Clearing some of this physical clutter should hopefully clear some of my mental clutter too, and help me realize that I'm on the path to a better and healthier me. So am I coming out of the closet? Or going in? Probably a mix of both.:-)

10 comments:

Cowgirl Warrior said...

The clothes do not hold the memory, you do. I totally understand your dilemma, but think of the sense of accomplishment once your done and have room for the clothes that you will buy when you're at goal.

katieo said...

I have SO been there. Maternity, post maternity, chubby-ish, normal, and skinny clothes. I went through and only saved what I HAD to. because of usefuleness and sheer love. One tip- I had a really good friend come over and help me. I really liked her style, and she usually shopped pretty thrifty. When I was on the fence about something, I'd hold it up and she'd give me the thumbs up or down. (more often the thumbs down...it was a little bit of a wake-up call)I totally trusted her. I packed up my maternity clothes, just a few of the bigger clothes, then cut my closet by about two thirds. It seriously felt like I lost 10 pounds!
The other thing I noticed was that when I change sizes I don't often go back to the clothes I already have, my inclination is "oh, darn, looks like I have to go shopping again!" lol. So getting rid of most of it actually really helped and made me more aware when I did bring something home, "Is this gonna last a LONG time?"
sorry for the marathon comment! :)

Kim said...

Taking on the unruly closet is a major accomplishment. If you don't love it, or love the way it makes you look and feel then it's time to say good bye! You are going to feel so much better as you move forward! Good for you Sonya!! :)

Chris H said...

Woo hooo for cleaning out the closet, I am sure you will feel so much better for it, and you will know for sure just what you do have to wear, and what is waiting for your sllimmed down body ! Go for it!

pinknest said...

i sometimes feel the same way about clothes, and i really need to unclutter as well.

KleoPatra said...

i totally can relate to this post, even tho i haven't had a baby! i have clothes that i totally need to discard. We have a groovy animal-benefiting second hand shop that i buy a lot of my clothes from and where i donate a ton of things (mostly books and knickknacks) and i think it might be time to do the unthinkable... what you did, Sonya, you brave woman, you... and FACE THE MUSIC, or rather FACE THE CLOSET!!!

You write so honestly, so wittily, so well, it's such a pleasure to read your posts.

noelle said...

Oh, I sooo know what you are talking about. There are the clothes that only fit your big nursing boobies, ones that fit your saggy belly, ones that made you feel amazing and skinny at one point...and that's just the underwear drawer! LOL

You'll get through it all.

Teresa said...

I have the exact same problem going on in my closet. A purdge is in order. The anxiety must go too. Enjoy your retail therapy

iportion said...

Maybe keep a few fave peices and donate the rest and start over.

iportion said...
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