It's been almost a month since I've posted here - unbelievable. I've missed blogland a lot.:-)
Things have been crazy busy in my life, but in a good way. I've been doing a bit of freelance work (on top of being a full-time mom), so my days are quite long at the moment.
Well, some remarkable things have happened in weight-loss land over the last month or so:
- I haven't had much chocolate. Even weirder - I don't really *crave* it like I used to. In fact, I may have had a square of chocolate or two over the last several weeks, but that's about all. I always threatened to break up with this lover of mine - and it looks like we've finally parted ways. But in an amicable way.;-)
- I've stopped my day-long grazing. I used to have my three square meals, snacks, and then just graze-graze-graze all day long. I have no interest in grazing anymore. I eat when I'm hungry - and that's all.
- I'm not obsessed with the number on the scale. I'm carrying on, doing my own thing - and my clothes are fitting looser. Maybe it would be ideal to hold myself accountable to a "weigh in", but I'm just not interested. I'm proceeding down the right track, and that's what counts. I am curious to know how much weight I've lost - but I'll hop on that scale towards the end of this month.
The biggest revelation of all, though - is that I'm finally ready to lose weight. That sounds foolish, I know. Why the heck have I been keeping a weight loss blog for all these bloody months if I haven't been interested in losing weight?
I realized something very important about myself. All this time, I have been in love with the idea of losing weight. I loved moaning about my body. Fretting over my clothes. Planning my "next" challenge. It was such a hopeless fantasy, in many ways.
I didn't really have a chance of succeeding because I was too caught up in the idea, that I wasn't ready to put my money where my mouth is. The weird thing is - it just kinda happened. There wasn't a big "breaking point", or "moment" - I think several events over the last year have lead up to this. The birth of my daughter. The fact that my maternity clothes were looming in my closet for a few months after she arrived. My nephew's comment about my "belly" when I was five months post-partum. Pictures of me. Embarking on "day one" of my diet plan a million times until I wanted to poke my eyes out with frustration.
So, my new philosophy is right for me. I'm going to do what it takes to get healthy - and I've already started down that road. I'll be diligent about exercise and my diet. But, I'm also going to live my life. That means that birthdays will be celebrated, I can have a few drinks with some friends, I can bake the occasional treat at home - but I'll always find ways to compensate for that. I'm not going to panic and crash the wagon anymore.
I will definitely be posting here more often. I'm not going to list my "10 goals" or "rewards" or whatever. I have just ONE little wish. I don't want to be writing about how I'm "starting" my weight loss journey on January 1st, 2008. Too many new years have come and gone - and resolutions never get accomplished. So, my goal is to be well enough in progress on my weight loss journey by January, so that it feels like just another day.;-)