Friday, September 07, 2007

Hello stranger!

It's been almost a month since I've posted here - unbelievable. I've missed blogland a lot.:-)

Things have been crazy busy in my life, but in a good way. I've been doing a bit of freelance work (on top of being a full-time mom), so my days are quite long at the moment.

Well, some remarkable things have happened in weight-loss land over the last month or so:

- I haven't had much chocolate. Even weirder - I don't really *crave* it like I used to. In fact, I may have had a square of chocolate or two over the last several weeks, but that's about all. I always threatened to break up with this lover of mine - and it looks like we've finally parted ways. But in an amicable way.;-)

- I've stopped my day-long grazing. I used to have my three square meals, snacks, and then just graze-graze-graze all day long. I have no interest in grazing anymore. I eat when I'm hungry - and that's all.

- I'm not obsessed with the number on the scale. I'm carrying on, doing my own thing - and my clothes are fitting looser. Maybe it would be ideal to hold myself accountable to a "weigh in", but I'm just not interested. I'm proceeding down the right track, and that's what counts. I am curious to know how much weight I've lost - but I'll hop on that scale towards the end of this month.

The biggest revelation of all, though - is that I'm finally ready to lose weight. That sounds foolish, I know. Why the heck have I been keeping a weight loss blog for all these bloody months if I haven't been interested in losing weight?

I realized something very important about myself. All this time, I have been in love with the idea of losing weight. I loved moaning about my body. Fretting over my clothes. Planning my "next" challenge. It was such a hopeless fantasy, in many ways.

I didn't really have a chance of succeeding because I was too caught up in the idea, that I wasn't ready to put my money where my mouth is. The weird thing is - it just kinda happened. There wasn't a big "breaking point", or "moment" - I think several events over the last year have lead up to this. The birth of my daughter. The fact that my maternity clothes were looming in my closet for a few months after she arrived. My nephew's comment about my "belly" when I was five months post-partum. Pictures of me. Embarking on "day one" of my diet plan a million times until I wanted to poke my eyes out with frustration.

So, my new philosophy is right for me. I'm going to do what it takes to get healthy - and I've already started down that road. I'll be diligent about exercise and my diet. But, I'm also going to live my life. That means that birthdays will be celebrated, I can have a few drinks with some friends, I can bake the occasional treat at home - but I'll always find ways to compensate for that. I'm not going to panic and crash the wagon anymore.

I will definitely be posting here more often. I'm not going to list my "10 goals" or "rewards" or whatever. I have just ONE little wish. I don't want to be writing about how I'm "starting" my weight loss journey on January 1st, 2008. Too many new years have come and gone - and resolutions never get accomplished. So, my goal is to be well enough in progress on my weight loss journey by January, so that it feels like just another day.;-)


CaRoLyN said...

I think you have reached a great place. The tone of your post was less frantic and more relaxed and confident. We are all so proud of you and it's great to follow you on your amazing journey. Congrats and live it up!

Teresa said...

Glad to hear all is well. I too share the same embarassing habit of talking about my wish to lose weigh and doing little about it. Do not understand whats with my lack of committment as there is no benefit to saying this way.

You seem to have found an anchor for your journey into health. I wish you all the best.

jodi said...

i've said it many times before - losing weight is not just a 'physical' thing, its also a 'mental' thing... its so easy to prep for a new way of eating, to create a workout plan, and set goals - but taking the FIRST step takes much longer...

it sounds like you're in the right place, at the right time so i think you should be excited... the key is to enjoy yourself and live your life, just like you said... :o)

Chris H said...

Great to see you back chick,I was kinda worried about what had happened to you. I think your 'new' attitude is fantastic and I am sure you will do well. Have a great weekend. How is that adorable wee baby of yours?

iportion said...

I want to get healthy so I started over again.
It's not just about losing baby weight but reducing acid reflux,
and reducing my chances of being diabetic and not having to spend forever finding clothes.

noelle said...

sounds like you have found a place that is quite comfortable to be who you really are....good for you!

Kim said...

I'm so glad that you're back!! I've missed you!!! :)

Sounds like you are in a perfect place. Very balanced and sensible. Good for you!!!

jeannie* said...

Oh my goodness -- I'm so happy and excited for you. Glad to hear your plan is working out.

Keep it up, and keep us posted. I think Jan 1 will come and you will be well on your way to a healthier life :)

Salma Gundi said...

You sound very centered - good for you! But if you figure out what the factors were that contributed to successful chocolate breakup, please do share :)