Friday, September 28, 2007

Sigh. The beginning. Again.

I'm back from my trip to San Fran! It was a lot of fun, but exhausting taking the baby. We spent a lot of time outside, and drove down the coast by the ocean. Wow. The West Coast is beautiful. Still, I'm happy to be home. Where the heart is.

I'm a bit embarrassed to post this, but I will anyway. This blog is about all my hits and misses, my successes and failures, my...well, you get the point.:-)

I SO fell off the wagon these past two weeks. As in ouch, I bruised my butt in a major way after I hit the ground. I was not watching portions, not watching my intake - pretty much went to town with my diet. Sure, I was on holidays - but I didn't need to splurge every day, you know?

But when you're on vacation, it gives you lots of time to reflect. And that I did. I'm really unhappy about the busy state of my life right now. I took on some part-time freelancing work these past few months, and everything is suffering because of it. I spend less time with the baby because I've needed to hire a nanny to help a bit. I spend less time cooking healthy meals and eat out more. I am exhausted at the end of each day, and don't exercise as much. I don't sleep as well because I'm discontent about all of the above.

So, there's a big meeting next weekend that I need to help with, which means this coming week going to be tough. But after that, I'm easing off work. At least I'm smart enough to have identified all of the symptoms and the true cause. After that, things should get better.

Why am I embarrassed? Well, how many times have I "started over" again? How many "challenges" have I given myself? It makes me wonder when the heck I'm going to get it right!

Well, I've realized that life happens. And I need to just live it, but make smart choices along the way. If I deprive myself, restrict myself, hold myself back - I'm going to fail miserably. And that's the key this time. Plus, holding myself to standards of perfection is not going to work. I need to be happy with "good enough" - because a perfect diet doesn't exist. And neither does a perfect life, right? So, I need to start accepting that one day at a time.

I'm going to pick up the pace on this journey a bit. That doesn't mean that I'm going to commit to exercising 14 times a week or drinking an ocean of water everyday. I'm never going to make it if I promise myself that. It means that everyday, I'm going to make a small choice that will move me forward. That's all.

So, hope you're with me (again!). I'll need all the support I can get!


iportion said...

I wish you luck.
stress puts the whammy on healthy eating. I am eating oaky again and lost some of the baby weight but I can't yet find enough sleep or exercise.
I have a lot of canned veggies on hand now to bulk up my meals. I think you can get veggies in low salt or even organic.

Chris H said...

Good luck chick. I 'award' myself a NON SCALE VICTORY every day.. it might be just not pigging out, or finishing a job... whatever, but it does mean you have a small victory every day that is not focused on a number on the scales... and I love it! If we focus on the "number" ever day it gets very self destructive... so give it a go!

Kim said...

What great success story doesn't contain a few setbacks??? As long as you haven't given up you haven't failed. :)

Grumpy Chair said...

Long term weight loss is that: long term. Life is like a roller coaster. I have been on this journey for 18 months with only a 20 pound loss. But it is a loss and not a large gain.

Good luck to you.

pinknest said...

of course we're with you!! best of luck and try to take everything a day at a time.

jodi said...

i think it's good that you are recognizing things that have to change AND admitting that you're not expecting things to be perfect... you said the magic words, "life happens" and all you can do, is make the best of it... :o)