Well, it has possibly been the worst week I've ever had in my life. Okay, well definitely in the top three.
My five-month old baby took ill early in the week with a respiratory virus that is very serious. It takes a toll on the lungs, and some babies end up getting hospitalized if they can't fight it on their own. I spent most of last week running myself ragged with worry and 24/7 care. I averaged 2-3 hours of sleep each night. Every cough, every choke, every wheeze, and I was there in a nanosecond. On Friday, things took a turn for the worse and we ended up at the hospital via ambulance where they kept us overnight. My little guy is just struggling to breathe, and it is breaking my heart.
My two-year old was doing fine, except for the lack of attention from mommy. Until yesterday when she threw up all over me and metered at 102 degree fever on the thermometer. Fabulous. Now, she is sick too with a different virus.
I am horrible under stressful situations when it comes to eating. I basically *stop* eating, and then compensate for it in the worst way. I'm never conscious of nutritional balance. I just eat whatever is within reach, which is normally totally crappy.
The human body is amazing. A week ago, my exercise and nutrition was amazing - I never felt better. Now, I am tired and sluggish. My body is actually telling me something, and I sure as heck better listen.
Of course, I don't expect myself to be at the gym everyday and eating salads for lunch when everyone in the family is sick. But come on. I should really be trying. A little, at least. Life will get in the way of my journey to health, and I can't afford to fall off the wagon each time.
I got on the scale this morning, and wanted to cry. One day soon, I'll post the number. I can't face it right now. But maybe it's all about admitting the truth in order to truly start the journey, like AA. "My name is Sonya and I weigh....". No, still can't do it yet.