So. Here's how the evening went, after my especially craptastic day:
I get a serious urge to eat my face off. I fight it for awhile. I realize that I'm actually hungry because my lunch was lacking in protein. I have a headache, and I can't think about anything but chocolate. I need sustenance, but I don't have the energy to make anything.
So, my father-in-law made my family a homemade pizza from scratch. He packed it up for us. It was in a bag on the counter. I ripped it open and had a piece. Bad? Yes. But here are its redeeming qualities: (1) it was on a whole wheat crust, (2) it was vegetarian, (3) homemade, so no sugary sauce or other stuff. Oh, and (4) I wanted to eat the ENTIRE pizza, but restrained myself to one piece.
All in all, a piece of pizza for a binge isn't the end of the world.
AND THEN, the entire evening did a 180.
My husband comes home and tells me that we have a date night. His brother is coming over to watch the kids. I was thrilled, and disinterested at the same time (at this point, I felt like retiring to bed at 8pm!). Here's how it all plays out:
- He asks me where I want to go. I think about my favourite bar/restaurant with amazing french fries and nachos. He is in favour too.
- I think about how awful I would feel after eating that meal. How guilty I'd feel. So I suggest a vegetarian restaurant that we haven't been to in ages. It is super, super, super healthy.
- It's not close to our place. But since I'm on roll, I suggest that we walk. 3.5km walk each way. It was perfect, crisp, autumn weather. We did a lot of good talking. (Well, I vented about his parents the whole way there, but he owed me).
And then, this is what we ate. I wish I had my camera:
Rainbow Kale and Walnut Salad
This hearty salad is filled with kale, beets, carrots, mixed seeds, raisins, walnuts, sundried tomatoes, and tossed in a creamy dill tahini dressing.
Best salad I've ever eaten. Hand's down. I'm not even a fan of raisins in my food.
The Trainers Bowl
This protein packed bowl is filled with grilled tofu, grilled tempeh, choice of black bean hummus or raw hummus, steamed vegetables, alfalfa sprouts and sprouted seeds. Topped with a tahini dill dressing. Sure to satisfy the true athlete in you. On quinoa.
This Reuben influenced sandwich topped with marinated tofu steaks, avocado, probiotic sauerkraut and our special Reuben sauce is served on a sprouted Ezekiel bun. Even he will eat it!
Out.of.this.world. We were totally stuffed.
So, here's the icing on the cake (pardon the pun!): Dessert at this place is pretty phenomenal. It's made with raw ingredients and natural sweeteners. We always have dessert when we go out for dinner. Today, I was feeling so satisfied, I said no. NO thank you! It was freaking amazing to decline dessert.
So then, I walked my little legs another 3.5kms home, feeling pretty darned proud of myself.
All in all, a pretty amazing turnaround for me. I was planning to mope in my pajamas with a pint of ice-cream. Instead, I walked 7km, had a seriously nourishing meal, and got a bit of time in with my favourite guy.
Now, today's caloric intake wasn't great. It wasn't a "lose" kind of day, but I don't think it was a "gain" sort of day either. I came pretty close to letting it all slip through my fingers. But I held it together.
So there. Tomorrow, the battle continues. But with each ounce of willpower that I'm able to demonstrate, my outlook on things is getting stronger, and more positive. I haven't felt this full of conviction in ages. On that note, I am off to bed with dreams of rainbow kale and walnuts on the horizon.