Friday, March 12, 2010

Blogging: my salvation

I've missed writing here. In fact, there's a huge correlation between my blogging here, and staying on track in terms of my weight loss journey. You can guess how things have been going by my recent absence!

No excuses, I'm just going to spill it: I've let myself go.

I feel grumpy and unattractive. My energy is at an all-time low. I crave sugar all the time. I'm out of breath climbing a short flight of stairs. My pants feel snug.

What have I been doing to myself for the last two months? Starting back at work has been really hard on me. My little guy has been constantly sick. Work is really demanding. I eat and eat and eat when I'm stressed.

Every night, I tell myself that "tomorrow" I'll try harder. But my resolve is so weak. I've been waiting for a big "ah-ha" moment, where it suddenly dawns on me as to what I need to do. It hasn't come.

Losing weight is NOT hard. I need to move more, and eat less. That's it. But it is my biggest struggle! Always has been, and I suppose it always will be.

I have gained 8lbs since I started back at work. I know it doesn't feel like a huge number or anything, but why does it feel like I'm carrying an extra ton of weight on my body?

There's only one way to tackle this. And that's back to basics. One healthy habit at a time. I can't wake up tomorrow and be "perfect". It took me several long weeks to let old habits come back, and it's going to take several more weeks to develop good ones again.

This week's focus: exercise. Yes, that means I can still eat chocolate. I can still get 5-6 hours of sleep a night. I don't have to guzzle 10 gallons of water a day. I can't do it all at once. I'm just going to focus on exercising this week. Three times.

I can do that. In fact, I just signed up for a date with an old friend of mine tomorrow morning. Yes, you guessed it: my spinning bike at the gym. Here I come again.


totegirl said...

That's how it works. Persistence is the only way! You are an amazing woman to tackle this with 2 wee ones at home. My child was almost full grown when I started my journey! Keep up the good work.

Christy said...

I agree with totegirl - it takes an amazing person to tackle this with two little ones at home! Think of all the wonderful things you told me when I first had B and was worried about the weight. WHen our lives go through insane adjustments like this, it's going to take a while and get used to it before we can focus our attention back on ourselves.

It's like right after your second child came along, it took a couple months before you could concentrate on eating healthy and exercise again, and this is another huge adjustment that you are facing and don't beat yourself up over the fact that you took a minor step backwards, because I KNOW you and I KNOW once you put your mind to it again, everything will fall into place and you'll get right back to where you were.... you are without a doubt one of the most determined and motivating people I know.

I was SO happy to see a new blog post, I owe you a qzillion emails! Welcome back, Ive missed you! I think the whole blogging world has missed you!!


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