I'm going to just pretend like I haven't been gone for several weeks, how's that?;-)
Really, my personal life has been topsy turvy upside down. But things are starting to settle down again, which is good.
Here's the stuff that makes me cringe, but I'm writing it down:
- I've gained more weight;
- I feel like crap;
- My pants are tight;
- I've never felt worse.
In all honesty, I don't think the mountain has ever looked as high. I spent the last few weeks feeling sorry for myself. I promised myself that "this" was it. I told myself that I'd hit rock bottom again. I lectured myself.
So one day, I decided to stop wallowing. I decided to just start moving. I told myself that I could *wallow* AND move at the same time!
So I started running again. I've been getting up at 5:30am, before anyone else in my house rises. It's my time. No excuses about how I'm tired from my day. Nothing to get in the way, except my alarm. You know what? I saw about five other people on the street running. Me? I was waddling. But at least I wasn't alone!
Last week, I finished Week 1 of Couch-to-5K again. It felt good. I'm feeling hopeful. I'm starting to feel like myself again.
So, no challenges. No, "I'm going to lose 100lbs by my birthday". No unrealistic goals. I'm just going to run my little heart out. It's all I know how to do right now. I'm hoping the rest will work itself out in the fullness of time.