My willpower, that is.
When I returned back to work after my maternity leave, I thought things were going to get harder from a weight loss perspective. If I couldn't get my act together while I was at home 24/7, how could I possibly manage while being at work again? Getting up early, dropping my daughter off at daycare, working, getting dinner ready, etc. It's not easy. I'm certainly not the first woman to face the challenges of being a "working mom", and I won't be the last. Add the fact that I'm trying lose weight on top of that, and it's just plain hard.
At the same time, I am enjoying having some routine in my life again. I have been packing all of my food with me at work, and that's all I eat. Healthy snacks, homemade lunches, fruit, etc. I've been cooking on Sundays, so that there's minimal dinner preparation on the weeknights. Meal planning has been good. I miss my daughter like crazy during the day - but I'm also starting to let go of my guilt for being at work. It's nice to be able to focus on my work without worrying about taking care of a baby.
Anyway, I'm starting to tip in the right direction. Making good food choices. Trying harder, when it comes to drinking water. Exercise has been hard - but I'm trying to get the other stuff in check before I incorporate that into my routine.
We went to a restaurant at lunch yesterday, for the birthday of a couple of ladies I work with. I ordered a sweet and sour tofu dish, and limited myself to one small piece of bread. It felt good not to have the "to heck with it" attitude, and order whatever I felt like. I'm starting to realize that there are consequences for all of these seemingly small decisions. They've added up over the past year, and here I am today - struggling to lose all of this weight.
Don't get me wrong - I'm still craving chocolate. And last night, I would have given my right arm for a plate of french fries. But I'm working past it - slowly, but surely.
At the beginning of March, I set some weight loss goals for myself. If I can lose another pound by this Saturday, I'll be right on track. Can you believe it? I'll be down 4lbs altogether. Doesn't seem like a lot - but it'll mean that I'm starting to get consistent. Almost half way to my first 10lb goal.
It doesn't seem like an impossible dream anymore.