Friday, March 23, 2007

It's all in a number...

First of all, thanks for making me feel like I'm not an insane lady when me and the scale are alone in the bathroom together.;-) I'm so glad that we all have some weigh-in rituals in common.

It did get me thinking, though - we're all so hung up on a number. Forget about making progress towards health goals, or eating better, or exercising - when we endeavour to stand on that digital box of death, it's the final number that counts.

But then again - most of our lives are all about "good" numbers. Getting high grades in school. Our salaries at work. The size written on the tag of our clothes. The price tag on the clothes that we buy. I could go on, and on, and on. So why would it be any different on the scale?

I could tell you that all that matters is that I strive towards better health. I could say that eating better and exercising is all that counts. And I'd be right. But if I tell you that I don't care what the scale says, I'd be lying like crazy. I care. A lot! I'm not obsessed - but seeing that number go down on the scale every week means that I'm making progress. And somehow, having a "good week" otherwise but not seeing results on the scale - just doesn't feel gratifying.

There. Potentially nonsensical babble over.;-)

This week has been just okay. I don't feel like I gave things my best effort. I had a few stressful nights with the (still cold-ridden!) baby, and it was a bit hard to function the next day. Plus, the weather was crappy earlier on in the week, which made me want to stay inside.

I did have a few cheats, to be honest - but nothing too crazy and overboard. Still, it will probably impact me.

But since yesterday, the sun has been shining and spring is in the air. And I've gone for some verrrry long walks. I'm starting to feel fit again! And I'm still keep up with the meal planning. I just need to be a little more vigilant about following it, even during stressful days when I end up eating breakfast at noon!

I really really really want to do this. And somedays, when I feel like I can't even see straight, let alone follow a meal plan - it's hard for me to feel like this weight loss is possible. But just when I start to sink into the depths of my diet despair, I see my beautiful little girl's face shining up at me. Beckoning me to run after her one day, when she learns how to move. Wanting me to hold onto the back of of her first bicycle ride, and keep up with her. And needing me to be healthy and strong, so that I can see her grow up and set a strong example for her.

And then my weight loss journey doesn't feel like a possibility anymore. It feels like an inevitability instead.


KleoPatra said...

Keep pushin' on, Sonya!!! And i hope the baby's feeling much better by the time you read this note. Here's hoping for a warm and fun weekend for you!

duenneschen said...

awwww..i love you how you ended your post.

although i dont have a kiddie, other situations arise like that where something so small gives you hope again!!!

you CAN do this!!!!

Cowgirl Warrior said...

Beautiful post! I'm reading this (especially the numbers part) thinking wow great minds think a like. The post I'm about to write on my blog will have a similar thought process.
Success is inevitable!

Chris H said...

Keep thinking of Raiya running in the park with you often, it will help motivate you for sure! I had a vision of Griffin running in the park and me never being able to catch him 3 years ago.... now I CAN CATCH HIM! It is so worth it to be the fittest and healthiest you can be, so you can be with your kids for as long as possible.

Christy said...

I have to say THANK YOU for this post. I am scale obsessed and even though I'm eating better then I have in YEARS and exercising, walking, going to the gym.... when I stepped on that scale this morning and only saw it down 1 lb i was sad, i was hoping for more. But then I read your post and I thought about all the other things that mattered, about being HEALTHY and not obsessing over the scale and instead of having french toast for breakfast I had All Bran with strawberries.

And, I love how you wrote about how it's your love for R and what you want to do with/for her. It's so true, it's not just about us anymore.

keep up the good work and the wonderful posts :)

Anne said...

Great post. You'll get there, I know you will. I want to be as healthy as I can be when I have kids, I want to be able to run after them someday too.

Weight Master said...

You're right. It shouldn't be, but we do tend to focus and frustrate ourselves with numbers. Losing weight, at least losing it in a healthy way, is a long-term thing. Keep it up.

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