I've never been the sort of person who deals with big life changes very well. Positive or negative - they've always thrown me for a loop. Generally, that means I gain a heap of weight.
When I started going to University, I gained a good 30lbs in my first year. After I graduated and started working, I managed to lose about 65lbs - the only time where a "life change" has had a positive impact on the scale! I got married a few years later, and gained almost all of that weight back. I fought long and hard to lose about 25lbs again, and then I got pregnant. A year after the baby, I've gained those 25lbs back, plus another 10 for good measure - and here I am today.
Like a lot of people, I turn to food for comfort. When I'm happy, sad, bored, anxious - food has always been there. I really don't know how to change that relationship, except to try and build new habits. I've spent many years having an unhealthy relationship with food - so it's going to take some time to change that. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if it will ever just "go away" - I think I'll have to constantly work at it. Isn't that ironic? You never really end the battle after reaching goal. Maintenance is going to be a challenge too. Although, I'd much rather be dealing with maintenance!
I've started back at work, and consider this to be another life adjustment. But this time, things feel different. I'm glad to be back in a routine that used to be comfortable for me. I like having this time to myself to get work done. I feel like I have an identity again. Don't get me wrong - I miss my little one like crazy. I practically sprint home after work to see her, and my heart races with excitement. But, it's nice to be looking after myself right now. Getting dressed up in the morning, doing my hair and make-up, having lunch in peace, etc.
I've lost about 3lbs since the weekend. Normally, there would have been an exclamation mark at the end of that sentence, but I think that's weight that I regained in the last couple of weeks. So, I can't update my ticker - but at least things are going in the right direction. What has *really* helped is the meal planning I did over the weekend, and the healthy food I've been packing for work. I bring a bag of food with me, and I only eat what is in it. When I was at home, I would sometimes skip lunch (when I was busy with the baby) and then compensate later. Cupboard grazing was awful. And sometimes, I'd eat mindlessly in front of the television.
My biggest challenge right now, is finding time to go to the gym. After getting home from work, spending time with my daughter, and putting her to bed - I am wiped! How I thought I could just go to the gym afterward is beyond me!
Of course, the alternative is to go early in the morning. But I am SO not an early morning exercising person. I think 8am is a decent time - but I have to be getting ready for work then. I don't know - maybe I should give it a try? I suppose it would eventually feel normal. The thought of getting out of my snuggly pajamas and covers in the darkness of winter is more than I can bear. I guess I need to make some sacrifices.
Anyway, I'm on my 2nd litre of water right now. I'm snacking on an organic red apple and some tamari-roasted almonds. And it feels good. SO very good.:-)